A hand stroked my face. I groaned. Someone had woken me. I squinted my eyes open the tiniest bit. It was pitch black. I relaxed my eyes and attempted to go back to sleep. It had to be early hours of the morning. Nothing probably touched my face. A weight rested on my waist. For Christ sake, I was trying to sleep. Warm fast breath hovered near my face. Was I dreaming? My eyes flashed open again. Nothing, just darkness. The figure hovering over me gasped, it must have seen me open my eyes. It leaned off of my chest and I re-closed my eyes. Its breathing slowed and it decided to lean back on my chest. Tender lips softly brushed against mine. This couldn’t be a dream I think. No, it must be. Who could it be kissing me if it wasn’t a dream? Kasumi is probably sleeping soundly at home. No other guys at my school are openly gay, a few are bi like Sora, but it wouldn‘t be them. It couldn’t be Osore, he’s dating Haruhi. It couldn’t be Miyuki either, he was straight. And I doubt a girl got into my dorm. I didn’t tell my lips to kiss back, they just did. When the person’s lips parted and so did mine. Our tongues tips met each other. A sweet taste flooded through my mouth. My hands lifted from the bed and took hold of their waist. They were wearing nothing but boxers. It had to be a guy. His hands moved under my singlet along my stomach. Our lips still hadn’t parted completely, so I was moaning into his mouth. “I love you Arashi.”
My eyes opened and I pushed the person off of me. It wasn’t Kasumi who I had been kissing. It was Miyuki. After a few moments my eyes adjusted to the light. He sat on my waist looking deep into my eyes. I was about to scream when he put a hand over my mouth. Sora slept grumbled a few words and rolled over in his bed. I’ve never been so confused in my life. I glared at Miyuki, I was so angry at him. Miyuki? Straight, girl loving Miyuki? He had kissed me! And told me he loved me! I’d of been a touch less confused if it was Sora, he was bi. But Miyuki? I didn’t understand. He went to lean on me again. I had to push against his chest with my hands to stop him. His heat beat hammered quickly as I stopped pushing him away from him. His bare chest, his heart, they were in my hands.
Since we were kids, Miyuki had been my best friend. The one who stood by my side through my parents’ divorce, through losing Tsukiko, through the accident, through all those weeks in hospital, and through Mika. It had been Miyuki, every step of the way. Entangling his fingers with mine he pinned me down. I didn’t look at him, I couldn’t. He breathed his husky breath onto my neck. “We need to talk.” it was more of a secret plea than a statement, but overall it was the truth. Tears swelled up in my eyes and I refaced Miyuki. What if I were to lose him? Our foreheads leant against one another. He was waiting for my answer. “You’re right. But not here” I glanced at the other side of the room where Sora was sleeping and above me where Osore was. “Not here indeed.” Miyuki touched his lips against mine again. If only I could cry out for him to stop. Why didn’t I cry out for him to stop? Why couldn’t I stop him from kissing him? Why couldn’t I stop myself from kissing him? I leant my head back away from his and eyed the bunk bed above me. Random poems and drawings I had written and drawn with a sharpie were looking untouched. Some must have been there since I was a freshman because my hand writing was so messy in several. Unknowingly and mistakenly, I was exposing my jaw to Miyuki. His lips skimmed against it. Then they pressed harder. Then they began to suck on it. Something wet slid down my cheek and onto the pillow. Could it be a tear? Was it from happiness or sadness? Regret or guilt? Fear or confidence? I couldn’t tell.
We crept outside of our dorm, and slowly slid down the three flights of stairs that separated us from the library. Miyuki closed his eyes and pushed on the door softly. It clicked open. It was darker than the corridors in the library. The black shapes the filled the room were bookshelves, full of books that were collecting dust. We walked in silence to the far end of the library. A warm glow came into view, we both froze. I swore that I could hear Miyuki's heart beat. "Hello?" A small girl's voice whispered. I felt all the muscles in my body relax. "Who's there?" She trembled. "Just some juniors, who are you?" Miyuki mumbled. "I'm Kaeda, you're not going to snitch on me are you? I'm only a freshman." I let out a small gruff laugh at the girl. "No we're not going to snitch on you if you're not going to snitch on us." I smiled into the darkness. The glow from before returned. "Thanks." Kaeda whispered from the glow of light. We walked past Kaeda and gave her a wave as we found the end of the library. I smiled and saw what had been there ever since our freshman year. I pushed my shoulder against the bookshelf full of books and revealed the wall behind. The small broken window was looking alot smaller than it did last year but I heaved my body threw it.
Tear drops floated through the wind, from the clouds and the night skies out of my reach. The crashing of the waves echoed around us even however we were not anywhere near the beach yet. That is where we were heading though. The rain flattened my light brunette hair but made Miyuki’s blonde hair 10 times thicker. As we walked in silence Miyuki’s hand bumped against mine. A soft sea breeze whipped in our direction, sprinkling a mist of water onto my face. Miyuki’s fingers took mine and tried to entwine with mine. I shook it off as if I did not notice and wiped my bangs out of my eyes. It wasn’t that they bothered me; it was that Miyuki’s emerald eyes were staring at me. The crashing of waves got louder as we approached the beach. The tide was fairly much so in, so there wasn’t much sand to sit on. We took our seats on the stairs that cradled around the entire beach. An awkward silence filled my ears, I had to say something. “So what was earlier about?” I didn't have to look at him to know tears had swelled up in his beautiful green eyes, it was his voice. "Everything." He whispered. "We're in junior year now; I've known you since before I was walking. Christ, I think we would have met each other whilst you were in the womb. However, Kasumi, you only met him a few years ago. I still remember the first day you came to school." I smiled and interrupted him. "Some 6th graders were calling me names and you walked right up to biggest one of them and punched him in the face." "I got a black eye and split lip because of that thanks" He grinned, his teeth shined in the dark light. Miyuki's grin softened and turned into a straight line. "What?" "Your lips, they look so...” My eyes widened, I had thought aloud. I stopped looking at Miyuki and pouted, turning my attention to the sea. "That tone of pink suits you" Miyuki teased, I could hear the smirk in his voice. "Why'd Kasumi get so lucky? If I could choose, only one person to be envious of it would be Kasumi. No, Shun, No Kasumi." All emotion had left his voice. "Why's that?" my curious mouth asked. Miyuki scoffed, "Why do you think? He's aloud to kiss you, hug you, hold you..." His voice slowly drifted out to the ocean in deep thought. I felt my hand squeeze Miyuki's upper thigh. How did my hand get there? Moreover, what was I doing? Miyuki’s head turned from the waves to me, I looked back at him. “Arashi...” His blonde wavy hair blew in the wind looking more brunette than blonde in the rain. “Yeah?” I swept the bangs out of his face and he took a hand of my wrist. Our faces will centimeters from each other’s. “Kiss me.” Miyuki said closing his eyes, I closed mine too.
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